A city for a canvas

Just like books, sometimes songs can speak to the soul and move the human spirit. I cherish these life moments when something moves me, like today, in a song I heard.

I want to preface with this—

Women, young women especially, often spend years of their lives searching for answers to questions the world hurls at them about how they measure up to the standards of beauty. Unfortunately women are taught from a very young age they have a role, in every culture, and a purpose dictated by those applying the societal pressure. In youth, it’s impossible to be aware of this sort of injustice. During teen years, it becomes subconsciously apparent to all of us, and we spend those years pushing back or caving in. Most often, we are perpetually doing both in a vicious cycle that eventually propels us to a threshold. This most often spills over into our early 20s and 30s.

When it becomes apparent that we’ll never measure up, we seek others to validate our existence, our actions, our emotions, our thoughts - which is why so many young women spend years fighting with their male counterparts because in reality, they’re losing the fight within themselves. It’s an affirmation that most often never comes from someone else but rather, a discovery of truth, or at least, purposeful journey in that direction.

I heard this song today, and it, unexpectedly, hit me in a soft spot deep in a calloused heart that I thought I had hidden away quite well.

I am self-assured enough to know where I’ve been and the road to where I’m going. But I realized today, though we as women may move on in love, life and discover happiness and truth, we can never escape the inherent feeling of inadequacy that the cultures of man have strangled us with for thousands of years.

We’ll never be immune. We were created to be the most sensitve creatures, and it seems the tenderness of a heart doesn’t lessen with time. And the nature of man is to choke such sensitivity and tenderness with unattainable measurements of [physical] beauty.

I quit measuring myself against society’s ruler several years ago and have found a freedom in that, but, as today proves, it’s a daily fight to hold on to what I know is beautiful. What I know to be beautiful - a thoughtful, inquiring mind and a selfless, empathetic heart - are things our society does not value as a whole….which makes it all the more beautiful.


“Beautiful” by Bethany Dillon

I was so unique
Now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it’s killing me
Does someone hear my cry?
I’m dying for new life

[Chorus]
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart, and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough J
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won’t you help me back to glory

[Chorus]
You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful


Copyright 2008
Sparrow Records